Walking by faith, not by sight// ♥ Joy ♥

My Fairy Godmother. /// 8:52 PM

I love my godmother. But of course, she's not a fairy like those in fairytales. Nevertheless, she's as sweet as one.

My kind godmother decided to save my chinese before it goes beyond hope. Therefore she offered to tutor me out of the goodness of her heart. But in the end, we ended up having a heart-to-heart talk for about an hour. Then we went to Westmall for lunch. Like me, she's always hungry too.

In all, she's one fabulous person. :)

Was really astonished when she told me there's someone she wanted to introduce to me. Worse still, she had even talked this over with my mum, who actually agreed?!
oh my. what's wrong with my used-to-be-conservative mum? did she take any medicine or sth that cause her to have such cranky silly dilly thoughts?
According to my godmum, this guy is
1. currently studying in Canada but coming back to Singapore soon for a few years
2. Her sister's son
3. Good character
4. Tall
5. quite good-looking
6. Good character (she kept repeating this again)
7. Rich

Hm. sounds like Ken-material in the barbie world.
All perfect. Without flaws.
But all this stuff is quite unrealistic huh.

anw she hopes for us to be friends first. then see how..?!

i seriously feel like a robot and my love life is like 'arranged' for me??

Went with Eileen to Vivocity for a stroll and some shopping after econs lecture today.
she's such a dear friend! :)

-Thank You, Lord, for laughter, the best medicine. -

*No promises

Abracadabra! Pain, be gone! /// 8:32 PM

It hurts. My toothache/gum-ache, whatever it is, hurts real bad.

This gum-ache, i suppose, is 90% of a NIGHTMARE. it's getting worse as the day comes to an end. It hurts even when im not moving at all. it's like a throbbing pain that affects my nerves. ARGH! i hope that when i wake up tml, i'll find that this is just a dream.

And if it's a dream, then i can still present for the chem OUAP and oral presentation tml. If not, well, there's nothing i can do but to leave it all to God.

Not in a good mood right now.

i feel so rotten. what can i do to help???

-Thank You, Lord, for saving my friend. -

*All or nothing

/// 6:42 PM

my all-time favourite song!

two fools
sitting on a tree
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

more shopping in heels later. :)

Adios.

Walking barefoot. /// 8:35 PM

Many feet shuffling about. One of them has no shoes. But the bustling crowd did not care. They're too busy with their lives. Got to rush for the train, pushing past one another to get to their destination on time, to get home safe and sound. To be surrounded by family members. To be enveloped by warmth.

No one noticed her hunched figure and scruffy feet without shoes.

how does it feels like to walk barefoot...

The tears can be hidden when the rain falls.

-Thank You, Lord, for artistic graffiti. -

*Always

Hurl me back to the stars please. /// 6:30 PM

~~This time, there are no tears.~~
This time, there is only emptiness.

watched 'Death Note' with yiqi, sebas, nelson, max, hoyin and jiahao yest. i'd rate the movie 7/10. it got kinda interesting in the end though. loooved hanging out with those people! they're a fun bunch. :) it's a pity the rest of 06S16 was not there.

Today, i spent quality time with my family! It's been months since we are able to do that. And I realised something. I realised that my mum always forces herself to smile, forces her voice to be cheerful to assure us that everything's alright. But her eyes show it all. She's getting weary and tired from all the pressure at work and household chores. And I'd rather she stop pretending.
It's sad. :(

It got me thinking.
sometimes, when unexpected things happen, i just dun know what to think anymore.
I only want things to stay the same as they have always been. But i know it's not possible.

-Thank You, Lord, for kind doctors and nurses. -

*Cruel

Style and Grace. /// 8:23 PM

just came back from a mini DANCE!!! concert.
And it's BEAUTIFUL.

how i really wish i could be one of them on stage. dancing their passion. brows fury with concentration, eyes sparkling, toothpaste smiles. This may sound silly but right there in the audience, i feel connected to them. if you know what i mean. i felt a chill creep down my spine during one particular song cuz the music was so lovely and the dancers look like angels tonight. my heart was beating as fast as their dance steps. it's overwhelming.

Go on. it's ok to laugh at me.

Ok. Im off to celebrate Deepavali today. Toodles!

-Thank You, Lord, for pretty dance steps. -

*Stuck

Like a fast-motion magic trick. /// 10:42 PM

Friday and Sat have been fabulouso. Really.

The summation of activities that occured on Friday is the 06S16 bbq!!!
arrived there about 8 plus cuz i've to give tuition earlier. ate and ate and ate the delicious chicken wings and other yummylicious stuff cooked by the guys. im really impressed by Nelson's cooking. he can open his own cooking show titled 'Nelson's Must Eat Food' already. Can really imagine that. :) mostly it was all hanging around and eating. at one point in time, yiqi wanting and i decided to go for a stroll. was pretty amazed by the playground esp since it's my first time there. i must say that i really enjoyed myself. the 3 of us were trying the obstacle course there. was laughing and encouraging the whole time. wanting, you are so cute! and later, both of them became little baddies. there's this mini seat where you must sit on tightly and be swinged from one end to the other. sadly, after i left the ground, they used this to their advantage and start pushing me from one end to the other, not letting me down. and when im stuck in the middle of the air, they wanted to leave me there. very funny issit?? hahahah actually it's quite funny lar. cuz i was like bouncing in mid-air. it was a comical sight.
OH YA. I ACHIEVED SOMETHING.
I managed to overcome my fear and climb 5/6 of the really humongous pyramid. was really freaked-out at first. but after the encouragement of wanting, yiqi, bernice, gabriel and max, i mustered up courage and climbed slowly, higher and higher up the pyramid. was really satisfied even though i did not reach the top.
later, when everyone had left, yiqi and i laid on the net, in the middle of the pyramid, just looking at the sky and sharing our problems. too bad there wasnt any stars. but it was serene moment. up there, in the middle of the pyramid, i felt really calm and peaceful. suddenly even my fear of heights was gone. it was as if a wave of peace flooded over my heart and left me fearless. i really want to feel like this all the time.
then we met up with the rest and walked to tingyou's house around 1.30am. the girls watched 'she's the man' while the guys played mahjong. drifted into lalaland at about 6am.

doodoodoodooddoodooddoo.

Sat is all about beach-fun, sizzling hot sun, smooth-as-soyabean-sand, frisbee-ing, photos, catching up on old times and shopping. It's a day where my closest friends and I got back together. A pity chia had OP and couldn go. Nevertheless, it had been of utmost fun. :)
Opened my eyes this morning in Tingyou's house from a dreamless sleep, and saw wanting who was right next to me. haha. then we bid goodbye to the guys who left earlier and I set off for Sentosa. was 5 mins late for meeting with eileen and wanling. when we arrived there, the siloso beach was packed like sardines. fortunately, we managed to find a cosy spot under the coconut tree. then goes our pathetic game of frisbee. :) about 50 passes later, we chomped on dorritos and ruffles. then we basked in the sun and chatted. took lots of photos! i realised sth. i have a passion for photography. simply LOVE taking photos of everything. the surroundings, friends caught unaware- it has to be natural. the day got too freakingly hot later and we decided to take refuge in VIVO. had a darrling time shopping!! got my eye on a grey jeans from topshop and a shorts from 37degrees. (christmas-sales) wulala!

photography is cool.

sandy ladies' toes

These two days have been great. I dun wanna forget the memories shared in these 48 hours.

There! the longest post so far, on 21st Oct,
On a really significant day for my family too.

-Thank You, Lord, for the people of the world. -

*

Thoughts after the conversation. /// 5:20 PM

Sometimes, you feel that you cant stand it anymore. There are simply too much feelings bottled up inside you. A whirlwind of emotions: frustration, exasperation, disappointment and helplessness. All piled up and they are gonna explode within you. And you wanna scream and let it all out. But after restraining yourself, you feel so much better and life seems to take on a better turn.

If you really feel that you can do it, YOU can. If you'd look towards the brighter side of life and realise that everything's not as bad as it seems, YOU can change. If. If you just change your mindset, you will be happier and start smiling more. If you succeed, YOU will find that life's not that bad afterall. And when that happens, everything will be sooo much better.
I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT.

-Thank You, Lord, for chasing away the Thursday blues. -

*Love you lately

Looking at the brighter side of life today. :) /// 8:37 PM

Let me reveal something important:
Christmas is coming!!!

today's soccer was not bad. managed to tackle the ball from the guys for a teeny weeny while. hey, it's an improvement already! but the guys were really good. always wondered how they ever managed to control the direction of the ball with their legs.

paid about 79.9% attention in maths lecture today. :)

something really humorous happened in OP just now. was presenting my speech when i suddenly found myself laughing non-stop. as in those laughed-till-tears-flow kind of laughter. seriously! it's really weird but perhaps it's just a way of releasing the nervousness kept in me. and at least im also not the only one laughing then.

Yeah! cant wait for 06S16 bbq this friday. hope it's gonna be fun fun fun.
After that, some of us will be staying over at Tingyou's hse. guess it'll be all movie-marathon, late night chatting and games??
EXCITING.
And it's a day out with leen, wanwan and chiachia to the beach the very next day! Double yeah!

Just gotten my new glasses today.
Two words.
Looked Toot.

-Thank You, Lord, for Christmas around the corner. -

*Always

Running away. /// 6:22 PM

Running from homework, exams and household chores
Running from relationships, constant nagging and expectations
Running from the sad reality of life

did not attend school today. lost a bit of health due to heatiness (if there's such a word). spent the whole day sleeping in, listening to music and playing the piano. 3 new piano books are just added to my collection. two of them are about love songs and the last, richard clayderman's scores. :)

i simply love playing instruments, esp the piano. there's no disturbance or annoyance. it is a time when i dont need to care about a thing in the world. Just engross myself in the beautiful musical notes that float out of the piano keys.

Im sorry. it's really hard for me.

-Thank You, Lord, for everyone who cared today! -

*Dont say goodbye

/// 8:47 PM

ME AND YOU. YOU AND ME. THE BEGINNING. OR THE END. THINK ABOUT IT, YOU SAY. I THINK. ABOUT BIRDS AND BUTTERFLIES. THEN ABOUT US. NOTHING MUCH. IT'S REALLY HARD. I TELL THEM. MANY DIFFERENT REACTIONS. SOME LAUGH. DONT TREAT IT SERIOUSLY. NONE IN FAVOUR. I PRETEND TO LAUGH TOO. LITTLE DO THEY KNOW. ALL MY FEELINGS JUMBLED UP. LIES WITHIN. WITHIN ME. FREEZE IT. FREEZE THE QUESTIONS . BUT I CANT JUST GET UP AND GO. I NEED TO SEARCH FOR ANSWERS. SO TELL ME. WHAT SHOULD I DO. ABOUT YOU AND ME. ME AND YOU.

PLS.

/// 11:11 PM

Fell in love with this skin. :)

love this song anw! hearing the lyrics feels as if the words are coming out from my own mouth cuz i felt the same way. let me go numb. i dun wanna feel anything. im just a fool hanging on to the thin thread that's half-broken. im sorry.

today in chinese's lesson, wanting and tingyou were funnily playing around with my hair - tying it into plaits, 4!! ponytails, so on. i seriously felt like a barbie doll (of course not as beautiful and sexy as one), with my hair being tied on again and again. but it felt nice actually. i feel young again, recollecting the past where my mum used to do the exact same thing for me. a reminiscence of my childhood.

-Thank You, Lord, for touching lives. -

*Im not missing you

A dinner at sushi tei for free. /// 11:12 AM

What a beautiful hazy day! :)

It was Vivo with evelyn today. did the usual stuff- shopping, enjoying scenery, eating.
eve and i were like having so much fun in forever 21. we tried on loads of clothes and took photos with them. so darn funny! also met mindy and her friend in forever 21 where she told me about some unpleasant stuff. really hope she's okay.

anw, something amazing happened when eve and i were dining in sushi tei. there were like these 2 middle-aged guys sitting next to us. at first, eve was taking a plate of crab stick out of the rollers thingy and opening the cover, but when she saw a longer crab stick, she literally put her own plate of crab back onto the rollers and TOOK THE NEW ONE!! oh goodness me. EVE!!! hahaha. i was kinda half-closing my eyes when i saw that.

Then when the guys saw that, one of them were like saying 'Oh, i saw it' and kept pointing to her plate, which was rolling away. it was quite amusing.
And later, they treated us to icecream in strawberries, hmm which were not really nice. But the surprising thing was that when eve and i were queuing up to foot the bill, one of them offered to pay for us! was pleasantly surprised! and being the greedy me, I was secretly thinking that i should also have eaten more plates of sushi. damn. but they were really nice people. :)
So the morale of the story is: i got a free dinner at sushi tei! yeah!

whydontyoujustgetit??

- Thank You, Lord, for sushi. -

*You give me something

/// 10:44 AM

i
would
give
anything
for
12
hours
of
sleep
right
now.

You better not try. /// 1:21 PM

when i saw you,
i was taken by surprise
you caught me when i least expect it
it's strange how often you manage to do that

it reminds me of the incident so long ago
where i was running and running
from a fear so great my emotions went out of control
and my heart was bursting in my chest.

sometimes, i really wish that you are still far far away
In Neverland and not here where i can see you
It's cuz you scare me
With your intimidating actions and behaviour.

perhaps you might think that im weak
but you are so so wrong
i'll do anything a girl would to defend herself
so you'll be most sorry if you dare try anything.

and IF anything happens, i swear I'll hit you where it hurts most
and i mean it, so you better not try.

I promise.

-Thank You, Lord, for your arms to protect me. -

*Everytime, Britney Spears

Vivocity! /// 9:45 AM

Vivocity is a paradise.

A Perfect place for shopping and hanging out, where the scenery of mountains and the beautiful sea makes everything so much more exciting. :)

It changes colours.
Amazing! :P

went there on Sat and yest. Yesterday, Tingyou and I were like zigzagging through the shops across the largest mall in Singapore. it was really fun. was trying out dozens of clothes but in the end, i controlled myself (yeah!) and only bought a white knee-length shorts and a gorgeous green shirt. :)

then we bought nachos and iced tea and brought them up to the rooftop to enjoy the splendid view of Sentosa at night. chatted and took lots of silly photos up there.

went home around 10 plus. :)

i guess the bad thing is that vivocity is TOO near my house. in this way, i'll be TOO easily tempted.

-Thank You, Lord, for stars in the dark night sky. -

*Grown-up Christmas list

/// 2:13 PM

All the good stuff.

Note to self: Christmas is coming!!!

DAYDREAM
i realised i have a tendency to daydream during exams. like today, during the chinese test, i would unknowingly look at the leaves outside and start building castles in the air, only to realise it a few mins later. then i'll focus back on the paper. and slowly, my thoughts start to wander again. it's kinda weird.

FACIAL
With eve today. well it was rather relaxing. enjoyable.
saw eve with her face mask on. teeny weeny scary. (eve, better dont go scaring the little kids ok?) hahaha. just kiddin. it was a good thing she didn catch me with my mask on. too bad for her, i got hers on my phone. :)

RUNNING ON THE BEACH
Came across this little shop in precious Chinatown. loved the clothes. it's hard to describe those kind of clothes... imagine yourself on a beach. barefoot. happy face. wide smile. long flowing skirt/dress. running and running. yep. that kind of clothes.
Just beautiful.

VIVOCITY
Off to vivocity tml. saw a whole stretch of what you call it? fountain?
Water twirling gracefully in the air and splashing back down again with such elegance and vigour. it makes me feel like running right up to it and dance among God's wondrous creation.

SLEEP (Last paragraph before fairytale ends)
why does a zebra wants to be on colour tv?
cause it's the only time it can get rid of its black and white stripes. :D

i'll be needing my beauty sleep badly cuz it'll be a long long day tml.
It's gettin late. Going off to catch some dreams.

Shoo. Go catch yours too.

today, i heard something that makes me real happy. but nah, im not gonna say it. :P

-Thank You, Lord, for you, you and YOU. -

*No sleep tonight, Faders

KBOXING IS FUN! /// 3:11 PM

SILLY. LIVELY. CRAZY.

3 words to describe some of us in kbox a few hrs ago.

went K-boxing with classmates in JE. had a great time.
for about 3 hours, we sang at the top of our lungs, laughed ourselves silly. was making such a huge racket but no one cared. hands high over our heads, following the beat, singing like there's no tml. we feel so energised.
i guess sometimes, we have to step out of our shells and just have fun. Enjoy life! :)

VIVO CITY! HERE I COME. :D

ittakesthepainawayfromme

-Thank You, Lord, for microphones which are not spoilt. -

*

Haze is fogging the entire asian cities. /// 4:38 AM

Haze Haze
Go away
Come again another day
Litle children want to play
Haze Haze
Go away

-Thank You, Lord, for nursery rhymes. -

*Blarring the com's sound system for this lovely lovely song by James Morrison.
it's so sensational!!!

You give me something /// 7:51 AM

lets not talk about promos.

"You give me something"
You want to stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep,
I was meant to tread the water
Now I've gotten in too deep,
For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.

You already waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me,
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what the mean,
I never thought that I'd love someone,

That was someone else's dream.
'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
'Cause someday I might call you from my heart,
But it might me a second too late,
And the words I could never say
Gonna come out anyway.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.
Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart

i absolutely love this song!
the music is just so lovely. so grand and beautiful!

i love singing it at the top of my lungs,
pretending to be someone performing on stage.
putting all your emotions into the song and feeling the beat rush through your blood.
and anw, soft toys make a good audience. :)

-Thank You, Lord, for dreams. -

*You give me something, James Morrison

Mum, i will not let you down. /// 10:48 AM

stayed over at chia's house last night. intended to study the night through.
sadly, after reading some Seventeen mags, a chocolate icecream, chatting and 2 qns of maths, i succumbed to the land of sweet dreams.

i will not let you down.

i cannot. i simply cannot.

-Thank You, Lord, for vivocity. -

*You and me

http://www.vivocity.com.sg/page.php?id=24
lovely! cant wait.