The newspapers went down and up and down and up and down. /// 11:11 PM
I killed it.
With trembling hands, i had an encounter with xiao qiang last night and I killed it.
Took me about 20 plus hits (im not exaggerating) cuz it had such strong willpower to live. Had a toe-tapping, heart-pounding experience as i wanna kill it but my hands just did not dare issue any hits and Mum was asleep. But this time, i knew i had to be brave and handle it on my own. So with a rolled up newspaper in my clenched right hand, many half-hearted smacks of the newspapers were given, with goosebumps creeping up my spine and a shade of ivory white settling over my face as the last moments of cockroach were witnessed.
Two hours ago, Mum read an article which she found in a Malaysian magazine, about a family of 9 who met with a car accident. Out of which 5 (dad, grandmother and a son and 2 daughters) passed away and 3 survived (mother, daughter and youngest son who's in a coma since June till now). The last member of the family is a daughter who is pursuing her studies in England at the time of the accident.
The article left a lasting impression as the hope manifested in the family is commendable, just WOW. The incident is seen as a tragedy to many but to the surviving members of the family, it's seen as part of God's plan and they found their strength in God. A 1000 plus strong people attended the wake of the 5 who passed away and out of whom, many broke down with an overwhelming sense of helplessness as they mourned for the family. However, tears werent shed by the daughter who flew back from England during the funeral (her mother, brother and sister were still in the hospital), where the coffins of her 5 family members lay in front in a semicircle. Instead, she sang her father's favourite songs during the wake, played the guitar, and gave glory to God in the midst of it all, giving thanks to Him for the past memories. Yes, they were devastated, but they chose to honour God despite the circumstances and refused to put the blame on Him. What God has given to us, He has the right them away as well.
I really really admire the peace which the surviving members of the family have found in God.
How i wish I can be that strong.
In any case, life's events are unpredictable. Live each day as if it's the only chance you got:)
"Although we cannot change the direction of the wind, we can adjust our sails."
My mother loves flowers /// 1:06 AM
Grabbed free movie tickets yesterday cuz Cathay had its 75th birthday and was feeling generous. Watched Shutter Island and it has a rather ingenious plot.
Had MOE Induction programme today and i got to know new friends from NUS, SMU and NTU!:) Learnt more about the path im gonna embark on in the next few years of my life as well and the assistant dean of PGDE programme is one of the coolest lady i've ever met. Her jokes cracked all of us up and if the auditorium seats werent so close to one another, i bet we could have all been rofl.
Made a trip down to Garden Festival after that. Operation Flowers was successful as I managed to persuade Mum to take a look at the wide array of beautiful designs of plants and flowers @ Suntec since she always has had a penchant for them. Goodness knows when's the last time we had so much fun taking hundreds of photos (Yes, Jean! i taught mum how to use the camera!:D ) and spending quality time together. :)
Yellow doesnt always belong to dirty fellows
Pathway to Flintstone's cave
"I have a face, like you," says White Flower.
Mum loves taking photos with flowers
Another photo to substantiate previous point made
Enchanted by this fairytale
Lastly, this is for you, Jean.
Love
- Thank You, Lord, for Mummy and Jean. -
1 Corinthians 10:13 /// 8:17 PM
It's not too late to enjoy the holidays, i hope!
Realised that this is kinda the last time i can make full use of my holidays cuz the coming ones are gonna be filled with courses with MOE.
My spending habits reflected those of my mother's on Monday as I walked in her footsteps. The plastic bags on my arms weighed heavier as 3 more pairs of shoes joined the first pair as the evening fell. But it's been a loooong time since i last bought a pair (honestly!) and my shoes only fill 1/7 of the space in the shoerack at home. And I've managed to exercise self-control since i saw many many more which are either comfortable/gorgeous as well. Too bad Tingyou didnt manage to find the perfect wedges. She should change her focus to potato wedges instead.
Thanks for the delicious (surprisingly) brownies babe! :P
Eileen came over in the night to do up Wanling's farewell card. Our gang of five is temporarily closed for business (in the physical sense that we couldnt take photos with all 5 present) cuz only both of us are left stranded on little red dot.
Tuesday morning saw a tired me giving tuition, having lunch, then it's followed by volunteering at AP. Have learnt much from the cutest kids there and I'll bring the fruitful experience with me throughout the course of my education years. It's really different just studying and getting to interact with the Autism kids. They are such an adorable bunch and sometimes it gets me rather down when I think of their future. Am thankful for the valuable opportunity, which is coming to an end soon as school is starting (dreading it).
After which, headed off to St Andrews Cathedral for a talk on "How to have a lasting relationship in this messed up world". The message is interesting and the speaker, witty! Learnt much bout relationships which honour God and also was reminded on the importance of Jesus' death on the Cross. Amazing grace:)
Met Eileen, wanling and her mother early wednesday morning for breakfast at Gekpoh. Wanwan was flying off to Beijing that night! and btw i couldnt help but be reminded of her mum's ultra cuteness! She's bound to take after her mum. We lunched with Mabel (who came back on Monday but flying off soon) at Holland V and had awesome time catching up, giggling like school girls as if we were back to our secondary one days. At least wanwan will be back on January 10th!
You'll be dearly missed, best friend.
The rest of the weeks are devoted to working and interacting more with kids and celebrating Charmaine and Jovan's birthdays yesterday evening and oh dear, Mum just told me that the cockroach, which i've trapped using a mug in the toilet yesterday (cuz i dared not exterminate it and thought that it would be better if Mum did the dirty work and it would also have time to mutter its last prayer), had disappeared from the mug! Gosh. This is really strange. Nobody would have touched the mug during this period so how did xiao qiang escape???
.
.
.
(Am googling "strength of a cockroach" right now but search results are rather disappointing)
Oh well.
Today's message by Rev Samuel Ling during service and youth session is impactful! His topic revolves around this question - "If life were a backpack, what would God pack into it?" and touched quite a bit on predestination. Felt as if my eyes were catching glimpses and finally piece-ing the whole picture together. Because God has predestined and determined, we can now face life with (i) thankfulness, (ii) contentment, (iii) assurance of salvation and lastly, (iv) zeal to serve God!
- Thank You, Lord, for friends who are always there. -
Draw me nearer /// 11:40 PM
God spoke to me while i was reading a book by RC Sproul in the train today.
I realised it's a fool's errand by being preoccupied trying to find His hidden will in our lives. Instead, we should seek to know His preceptive will (revealed through the bible) by meditating on God's law, relying on every word that comes from the mouth of God. His revealed will is our chief business.
"In his heart a man plans his course
but the Lord determines his steps."
- Proverbs 16:9
- Thank You, Lord, for knowing all of my weaknesses. -
God created feelings. /// 11:16 PM
Joy/Judith /// 11:59 PM
Dear Dad,
It is the time of the year again.
Happy 54th birthday.
Your loving daughter,
Joy
Never too young /// 12:59 AM
Lets learn from the ants today!
Cant help but take a few photos of random ants crawling on a tree bark. Despite their diminutive size, they are created in such a way that they have remarkable feats of strength!
Mum bought a lovely white knee-length dress from Dust Bunny, a vintage shop today!
- Thank You, Lord, for Your delicate plans. -
My daily struggles /// 11:51 PM
I was reading a book by Sinclair B. Ferguson and he wrote this:
What then is this killing of sin?It is the
constant battle against sin which we fight daily - the refusal to allow the eye to wander, the mind to contemplate, the affections to run after anything which will draw us from Christ.
It is the
deliberate rejection of any sinful thought, suggestion, desire, aspiration, deed, circumstance or provocation at the moment we become conscious of its existence.
It is the consistent endeavour to
do all in our powers to weaken the grip which sin in general, and its manifestations in our own lives in particular, has.
It is not accomplished only by saying 'no' to what is wrong, but by a
determined acceptance of all the food and spiritually-nourishing disciplines of the gospel.
It is by resolutely weeding the garden of the heart, and also by
planting, watering and nurturing Christian graces there, that putting sin to death will take place.
Not only must we slay the noxious weeds of sin, but we must see that the flowers of grace are sucking up the nourishment of the Spirit's presence in our hearts.
Only when those hearts are so full of grace will less room exist for sin to breathe and flourish.:)
On a lighter note, I am stunspored by my mum's cute, yet atrocious spending habits.
A pair of maternity jeans lay waiting for me when i came home yesterday.
"For future use!" she exclaimed enthusiastically and kept persuading me to try it on.
A rather exasperated me obliged reluctantly to appease her.
Hmm.
I heard that daughters usually take after their mothers in many ways.
Will i do the same to my own daughter in the future?
Guess I'm learning to be a woman from you, Mum.
Sweetest friend /// 7:35 PM
Dearest
Chia,
Because there wasnt sufficient space in the card, let me continue part II here...
Thanks for the lovely memories shared since secondary one. Fragments of those do drift into my mind once in a while. While the teachers were teaching, sneaky students like us werent listening cuz we were too busy playing a fool at the back of the class. It tickles me whenever i remember how wanling and i would tap mabel and you from our seats, and would proceed putting our heads on our desks immediately, pretending to be asleep. haha
Thanks for those times in Choir, going through SYF twice, opening ceremony, our beautiful memorable trip to Italy, eating gelatos almost everyday, taking hundreds of gorgeous photos, and attending workshops, workshops and more workshops.
Thanks for the trip to Australia with Wanling. Visiting the twelve apostles, those trips on the bus to and fro places of interests, visiting mabelly, doing grocery shopping, plucking strawberries in farms, sightseeing boring zoo trip, getting to know more about each other. It makes me smile whenever images of us in Melborne pop into my mind.
Thanks for brightening the days at work! I would always look forward to our breaks so i can hop over to have a chat with you and you'll have to leave the slacker darius to do his job. You make working life more fun with your ever-cheery smile and attractive personality.
And finally, thanks for just being a great great friend to me. Thanks for always being there, ever supportive! I'll miss all our sleepovers at each other's house, watching that dance movie whose name i cant seem to retrieve out of my memory, chilling out till late at night, just chatting like the good o days. I could remember our trip to Chiang Rai for service learning and we were sitting at the back of the bus in this sequence - me, you, eileen, mabel and wanling. And you were sharing with me about how your dad has never taken public transport before and he sat till the bus driver went to "park" the bus and had to climb up to the second level of the double decker to inform your dad to alight. Gosh. I remember it was raining then but the weather did not dampen our mood as we were chuckling so hard till our stomach ache. It still makes me laugh everytime i think of it. Your parents are just sooo cute.
You'll be back soon so I'm not gonna mop around and cry like there's no tomorrow.
I'll see you in Australia, hopefully at the end of the year!
Most importantly and urgently, do find a church over there alright.
Have a safe trip and God bless!
I love you <3
Getting out /// 7:07 PM
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please remove the veil from my eyes.
Surprise surprise! /// 9:33 PM
Your love compels me to come
Into Your presence i will run
